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Copyright 2005 James Deacon
[Addition, Jan, 04, 2007].

A question that frequently arises is:

Do we need to ask an individual's permission before 'sending' them Reiki ?

[For:"'sending' them Reiki", I feel we should read: "giving them a distant Reiki treatment" - afterall, that's what it is]

I usually reply something along the lines of:

Well, would you grab hold of someone and give them a hands-on Reiki treatment with out asking (and getting) their permission?

No, of course not.

So why should a 'non-contact' treatment be any different?

[NOTE: here I am specifically talking about situations in which the individual is capable of giving a response to an offer of Disant/Absent Reiki Treatment. I will leave situations where the individual is incapable of response to another article]

And why would you want to treat an individual without asking their permission first?

Is it that you are actually unwilling to ask their permission?

Are you perhaps embarrassed in case they think you some sort of 'new age weirdo'

Are you afraid to ask because you already know they will refuse?

Do you think that you know best - that you have the right to decide for them?

Many people seem take the stance that it is OK to 'send' Reiki ( - give an absent Reiki Treatment) without the individual's permission, so long as it is done with the intention that the individual's 'higher self' only accept it if it is for that individual's 'higher good'.

IMO sending without permission to an individual's '"higher self' should only be even considered - let alone acted upon - as a very last possible resort.

OK, so the thinking seems to be that the individual's 'higher self' knows what's best for them, and will only accept the Reiki on these terms. But even if the 'higher self' does indeed know what's best for them, does this justify your intervention?

We all (well, almost all) consciously know what is best for us - not drinking alcohol, not smoking, not eating too many cream cakes, etc. Making sure we get plenty of sleep, exercise, water, and so on.

But what if I don't want what's best for me?

(well, at least not all the time)

What if I choose to compromise between what is ultimately 'for my higher good' and what makes me happy - in the 'here-and-now'?

What if I don't want someone to Reiki away every little ache or pain that lets me know I'm alive?

What if 'just for today' I want to feel a little miserable - want to be childish and wallow in a little self-pity concerning how ill I feel cos I got some itsy bitsy complaint (well, it is the prerogative of the 'male of the species', after all!).

Surely it is my right to make this choice?

Now (and I know this is almost certainly an Urban Myth, but), to give a drastic example of the consequences of not respecting an individual's conscious choice to refuse Reiki:

I'd like to share with you the following story, about an unnamed guy who used to live in New York.

One night he came home feeling really unwell - wasn't sure if it was due to flu or something he ate at lunch - but either way, he felt rotten.

His wife was a Reiki practitioner, but (as was his right) the husband, as he put it, "didn't really go for all that alternative therapies stuff"

Of course, his wife knew what his response would be if she suggested a Reiki session to him - he would say no. Then he'd probably just take a few asprin - go to bed, take the following day off work and go see his doctor. That was his usual routine when he felt this way.

So, being a Reiki practitioner - which of course meant that she knew best - she decided to just go ahead and treat him anyway (even though she knew he would not want her to, and would have refused if she had asked him ).

As soon as the husband went to bed, she sat down in a comfortable chair in their lounge-room and began to carry out an absent treatment for him.

As expected, the 'secret' Reiki treatment worked, and the next morning, when the husband got up he felt fully recovered
But he couldn't understand it. He knew his own body - usually when he had been hit that badly by a flu or stomach bug, it lasted a couple of days at least.

Surprised at his own recovery, he decided not to bother with the usual visit to his doctor. He had planned to phone his office and inform them he was taking a day or two 'sick leave' - but there was no point now.

So, as usual that morning, the couple - hand in hand - left their apartment to catch a shared taxi to their respective places of work.

As the cab crawled its way from one red traffic light to the next, the husband commented that he was really amazed how well he felt. Even the grime and fumes of the rush-hour traffic couldn't dampen his spirits that morning.

The taxi drew up to the kerb to let him out (before taking his wife on across town to her place of work);and his wife watched as, with a spring in his step, he walked towards the tall building which housed his office.

She smiled a knowing smile and shook her head - "If only he wasn't so foolish" she thought to herself "then I wouldn't have to treat him with Reiki without his agreement."

As the cab pulled out into the traffic, she just knew that, thanks to her intervention, he would have a wonderful day.

She thought she caught a final glimpse of him as he entered 'Tower 2' at the World Trade Centre where his office was situated.

The date was September 11th...


* * * * *


In my personal experience, I have come across more people who are willing to accept Reiki when it is offered than people who choose not to accept it.

So, if someone refuses Reiki, I honour their right to do so - and move on.

If I ask twenty people and they all refuse, so be it.

Eventually, someone will accept the offer of assistance.

In Reiki, there should be no ego

- no belief (conscious or otherwise) that being a Reiki practitioner means you know what is best (or even simply what is timely*) for another sentient lifeform

- no belief (conscious or otherwise) that being a Reiki practitioner gives you the right to dishonour another by imposing your will on them

- no fear of clearly asking for anothers permission to treat them
- no fear of rejection, should they choose to say no

[* just because someone chooses to reject your offer of Reiki now, doesn't mean they might not choose to accept it at a later time]

One of the greatest lessons that Reiki can teach us is the power of letting go - the power of learning to transcend the need to interfere: the need to 'do something' - to attempt to 'fix' things.

- the realisation that sometimes, much as it may pain us ourselves, the greatest help we can be to the particular individual, lies, not in intervention, but in honouring the divinity of their existence by accepting their right to live through the experience of their unwellness/injury/dis-ease, rather than attempting to 'heal it all away' [a desire that - if we are true to ourselves - may be perceived on occasion to have as much to do with liberating us from their suffering as it does with liberating them]







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Disclaimer: The contents of this site is for general information only. James Deacon does not necessarily endorse the methodology, techniques or philosophy of individual modalities detailed herein, and accepts no liability for the use or misuse of any practice or exercise on this site, or ones linked to this site.